The thing called love

Melancholy creeps in the veins and hisses inside of her. “Why can’t I get rid of it?” Oh! The agony burns my heart and dims my soul. Did I ask for too much? A little love with a sprinkle of attention is all I needed…why does my heart yearn for it so much? Why can’t I simply be happy with the way thing are?

And the young woman walks aimlessly, heavily stooped with the baggage of a torn self, searching for fulfillment. As she drags her feet to walk on the rough and scorching road, she meets an old man. Tattered clothes, baked skin with a toothless smile and a calm face. He asks her, “What’s wrong my child? Why do you look so lost and sad?”

The girl hesitates, and says, “I am losing the will to love. What haven’t I done to make my beloved happy? Yet, when its my turn to get affection, and fulfill my dreams, I seem to be alone. Is it too much that I ask for?” The man looked away and gently placed his palm on her back. “Are you not old enough to fulfill your dreams, satisfy your needs and make yourself happy?” The girl impatiently answered, “Why of course, but then what is the point of being in love if I do not have someone to take care of all this for me? Then why do I need to be with someone if I am to take care of it?”

The man got up on his feet, readying to start his journey, “Love is all about giving, and may be its time you think about how you much you can give and not what you can take. The day you understand this, love will shower all the attention and affection on you.”

Pre-wedding jabbers

Music inspires and soul-stirring ones takes you to another planet...as I listen to the mesmerising songs of Nauka Dubi (movie), I wonder why are we always struggling to find answers of things that are beyond our comprehension and reach?--- we grapple to understand life, how does one optimally live it? what is love--- is it only about what you give to others and get back, or is it about going within? I don't know, and I don't want to know...

I have spent 27 years of my life, the way I wanted to, of course with my parents support and guidance. I have been brought up as an independent girl, never once I was made to feel that I am a 'girl'! Is that not THE greatest achievement of any parent/s?

These days, the time goes by so quickly that I don't find time to be with myself, live the moment! The madness of wedding preparations have consumed all my time plus the usual work life and gym hardly leaves me with any energy!

I am not feeling anything these days---I mean I am getting married! It is not a joke...new life, new people, suddenly you are thrown out of your comfort zone and asked to re-orient, re-design your life. That is definitely something! Yet, this whole feeling seems to be outside of me. A woman has to go through such a big change, yet, why is she alone going through all this? Her folks, correction-Dad, weeps and feels sad of losing his daughter...why do dads cry more than mums? May be because they don't want to alter their lives while mums are already used to that. Did my dad cry when mum left her place post their wedding? I think not! then why does this happen when it comes to their daughter?

Terms like nervous-bride, bridezilla--overwhelmes me! I mean, why tag the poor girl going through such an emotional, mental and physical change??? It is a beautiful moment, when it actually happens...but till then, its crazy! So many thoughts fighting for limited space in the brain and how can one accommodate all these?

At this moment, I just feel like singing, drown myself in music and numb my senses!