My wedding card write-up

My world is no different from any other girl who is loved by her family and cherished by her friends. Yet, we lead our unique lives. Born to the most liberal and understanding parents, grew up amidst a huge family, and shared my secrets with my few closest friends. The usual highs and unusual lows came and went, and what stayed were the memories, support and love.

As life starts to slowly unfurl itself, I meet Amlan. I know him from my school days, yet, never thought that destiny would bring us together after so many years! We walked side by side, got lost in each other’s worlds and stopped at a point only to move beyond. From sharing our thoughts, ideas, and dreams, we decided to take a step further, be more adventurous, and share our lives.

But joys are incomplete without sharing them. We need your blessings, love and hugs to start this new phase in our journey and eagerly wait for your presence…

Heartfelt prayers, a song in mind, and dreams filled in the heart

I walk down the path alone, but not lonely

Music fills the void in the heart, dreams engulf the mind

Walking under the cast of clouds, lush green fields by my side

And I wonder, what more can make me happy?

A person stands on the other side of the road,

Love in his eyes, a smile so warm

We look into each other’s eyes, and walk side by side

We share our thoughts and dreams without words

My hand in his hand--- I feel protected

We walk, towards the unknown--- nervous, yet excited!

Collection of messages as my wedding draws near!

Makes me feel special and I am truly blessed to have you all in my life… thank you for all the lovely, overwhelming and beautiful wishes!

Purnima Chakraborty aka Babul didi:
Darlin' mithli,
Cannot fathom you getting married… just the other day you were asking me for gum-spout wala… then you wanted to play with deep and he instead was chasing you..--pinching you too… us playing ludo n me and u losing to deep n kaku...u hated losing...gawd i love you so much… I remember taking you to meet my friends in the next bldg during the cadell rd appt days--- they said u were the cutest sis ever-- a baby doll…tumi amaar biye te bubbly lady hochele and today ur getting married!!My sincere prem-preethi-bahlobhasha always to u and amlan…

Urmi Mukerjee:
Hey Mithu,
All the very best to you. This card is so very special to us all. May god bring you both loads of happiness and joy. We are gearing up to have a blast … you be prepared for our arrival cuz we are sure as hell going to make your last few bachelorette days memorable ;)

Sudeshna Mukherjee aka Mammu didi: Congratulations!! So the celebrations have begun =) Thoughtful and heartfelt - will miss you baby!! Here's wishing you a wonderful life ahead…God bless!!

Sumi Chakraborty aka Mona Di: Wonderfully written cuz! Loved it! Wishing you all the happiness in the world.

Shriya Ramachandran:

The day is soon to come and you will always remember
The greatest in anyone's life
You'll start off the day just two people in love
And end it as Husband and Wife

It's a brand new beginning the start of a journey
With moments to cherish and treasure
And although there'll be times when you both disagree
These will surely be outweighed by pleasure

You'll have heard many words of advice in the past
When the secrets of marriage were spoken
But you know that the answers lie hidden inside
Where the bond of true love lies unbroken

So live happy forever as lovers and friends
It's the dawn of a new life for you
As you stand there together with love in your eyes
From the moment you whisper 'I do'

And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real
May success find it's way to your hearts
Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys
The beginign is soon to be your life...

Shumayl Amin:
Tushita and Amlan
Thank you so much for the invitation its absolutely beautiful, I’m so happy that you even considered sending me an invite even though you know I can’t be there, but I will definitely see you two may be next year, hope you guys have a wonderful and blessed life ahead and good luck for the big day. Much love

Ridhima Sud: CONGRATULATIONS!!!
One of the best cards I've ever seen, its is just like you- sweet and straight from the heart :D
May god bless you and Amlan with lots and lots and lots of happiness in days to come.
Warmest wishes ( ust falling short of being too hot!)- Love always…muah muah muah

Juneli Ghosh aka Buchi di: Congrats Sis...lovely write up...Wish u guys a life full of happiness and laughter...Loads of luv & Hug

Shivaa Rawat aka jwalamukhi: Babbyyy. lovee uu! I am so excited abt your wedding. My janeman...my dil ka tukadaa!!

Anirban Bhattacharya aka Banu: Piece of soul missing. Piece of heart missing. But a rather hot piece of ass confirms attendance!

Sony Gorthi aka Garu: Awesome card... Artsy, crisp and Brighto is a lucky chap I say :P
Would love to be a part of this entire experience (big fat Bengali marriage). Keeping my fingers crossed as my supervisor needs to sanction holidays... :( May you & brighto have a Happy and Prosperous Married life...
PS: You guys make the cutest couple I know :)

Megha Mathur:
Tushi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The card is lovely and I love what you've written about meeting Amlan...
How I wish I was there at your wedding...but since that's not something that can be helped, I wish Amlan and you all the happiness, love and togetherness...May you both get the very best in life and take everything it has to offer with each other's good at heart...A big congratulations to both of you... I hope everything at your wedding goes smoothly...and I also hope that your dad is better now and recovering well... I shall miss you soooo much...will call closer to the day. I'm sooooo happy for you...Congrats again!
Take Care and have fun :)

Wedding in a month!

A month left for the D-day to come! I feel jittery but I am trying my best to keep feelings at bay…emotions are looking for a space to express themselves but I have controlled them, suppressed them. Why are weddings such a big deal? I know it is the biggest day of your life. A life altering moment. But why can’t it be smoother, simpler,with less pressure!

As a woman, you start your new life—literally! Giving up your home, parents and family, who know you, can bear your tantrums and yet love you unconditionally. Now, you begin the process all over again…it’s not easy. If people really talk about experiencing something ‘different’--- they should certainly try this! What an adventure!! Atleast in my case, I know the guy, we have been dating for so long.

Still, it is not easy, neither for me, nor for him! I don’t know how to stay strong and composed since the memories of childhood, time spent with cousins keep floating by. Showering of their love and constantly throwing lovingly lines like, “Soon you will go away” or “Spend some time with us as you would be starting a new life” makes me nervous! After all I am here—in Delhi only! Yet, the distance will grow, they say…not a comforting thing to hear!

I am battling to stay calm and composed, restricting my tears to my throat and gulping it as water. I don’t want to get weak. It is a beautiful beginning and I want to be positive and happy! Let’s hope I win the battle by leaving my home smiling and not crying!

I need you guys to make it possible!!

Life without wands!

Now for us lowly muggles this life indeed hard. The mornings begin with driving in the roads of Delhi---cars with drivers speaking on mobile phones and driving either too slow or zigzagging around like a circus act. Broomsticks, disapparation and floo networks would have been so much simpler, quicker, cheaper and yes, environment-friendly! Is any R&D guy listening?? Death would have been painless, instantaneous and would not have affected an entire population. ‘Avada Kedavra’ would have done the trick, of course making the user ‘unforgivable’. This would have helped in defeating terrorism as the Dementors would be too happy to suck their souls, hence no chances of applying for pleas.

However, we are the mundane muggles, juggling between work and home, running errands and huffing and puffing along the way trying to beat the person (be it a driver ahead of us, ‘more’ happening lives, etc) in the race. Suddenly, life seems to be the ‘same old cliché’. No more trepidation of ‘what next’ and ‘how do I find a job?’ Attending festivals and gigs, walking down to Priya complex in the rain to save money for buying Rs 20/- burgers, and stay over at friends’ homes seem like another life altogether! Five years down the line and I thought life would be a little cooler with the salary coming in…

Of course, those married have been hit by the last nail in the coffin---no more big changes in your life—the usual rut continues…

I seem to be losing interest in simple things --- walk in the park which has been replaced by monstrous machines at the gym (though I love working out! Seems like I am really ‘doing’ something!), playing with the apartment kids, licking an ice-lolly while watching the world go by…sigh! I sometimes wonder—what would make me ‘happy’? Why do I feel so unfulfilled despite having everything?

Someone, inspire me to ‘do’ something, throw me off the comfy couch and help me ‘move out’ and explore…where are you, my wizard? Dumbledore—I think I need you along with Arthur, James and Sirius and their families! A bit of wanding and brooming around might be fun and unique! Are you listening?

The thing called love

Melancholy creeps in the veins and hisses inside of her. “Why can’t I get rid of it?” Oh! The agony burns my heart and dims my soul. Did I ask for too much? A little love with a sprinkle of attention is all I needed…why does my heart yearn for it so much? Why can’t I simply be happy with the way thing are?

And the young woman walks aimlessly, heavily stooped with the baggage of a torn self, searching for fulfillment. As she drags her feet to walk on the rough and scorching road, she meets an old man. Tattered clothes, baked skin with a toothless smile and a calm face. He asks her, “What’s wrong my child? Why do you look so lost and sad?”

The girl hesitates, and says, “I am losing the will to love. What haven’t I done to make my beloved happy? Yet, when its my turn to get affection, and fulfill my dreams, I seem to be alone. Is it too much that I ask for?” The man looked away and gently placed his palm on her back. “Are you not old enough to fulfill your dreams, satisfy your needs and make yourself happy?” The girl impatiently answered, “Why of course, but then what is the point of being in love if I do not have someone to take care of all this for me? Then why do I need to be with someone if I am to take care of it?”

The man got up on his feet, readying to start his journey, “Love is all about giving, and may be its time you think about how you much you can give and not what you can take. The day you understand this, love will shower all the attention and affection on you.”

Pre-wedding jabbers

Music inspires and soul-stirring ones takes you to another planet...as I listen to the mesmerising songs of Nauka Dubi (movie), I wonder why are we always struggling to find answers of things that are beyond our comprehension and reach?--- we grapple to understand life, how does one optimally live it? what is love--- is it only about what you give to others and get back, or is it about going within? I don't know, and I don't want to know...

I have spent 27 years of my life, the way I wanted to, of course with my parents support and guidance. I have been brought up as an independent girl, never once I was made to feel that I am a 'girl'! Is that not THE greatest achievement of any parent/s?

These days, the time goes by so quickly that I don't find time to be with myself, live the moment! The madness of wedding preparations have consumed all my time plus the usual work life and gym hardly leaves me with any energy!

I am not feeling anything these days---I mean I am getting married! It is not a joke...new life, new people, suddenly you are thrown out of your comfort zone and asked to re-orient, re-design your life. That is definitely something! Yet, this whole feeling seems to be outside of me. A woman has to go through such a big change, yet, why is she alone going through all this? Her folks, correction-Dad, weeps and feels sad of losing his daughter...why do dads cry more than mums? May be because they don't want to alter their lives while mums are already used to that. Did my dad cry when mum left her place post their wedding? I think not! then why does this happen when it comes to their daughter?

Terms like nervous-bride, bridezilla--overwhelmes me! I mean, why tag the poor girl going through such an emotional, mental and physical change??? It is a beautiful moment, when it actually happens...but till then, its crazy! So many thoughts fighting for limited space in the brain and how can one accommodate all these?

At this moment, I just feel like singing, drown myself in music and numb my senses!

Long-ing-ness

My head screams out, 'Oh!why can't you be here, with me! Why can't I meet you whenever I want? Why can't we watch movies together, hold hands, see the world go by?'...

...And I hear your voice--tired, exhausted, lonely but brimming with love & undying humour. I get your point-- you don't want to be away, but you 'have' to be! How do you live alone--without friends,family & all you are surrounded by, is work? How do you remain calm, patient & happy despite all this?

Is this the reason we survived 3 years of distance and yet, and our bond just grew stronger???Amen.

Life is??

I often find myself in a fix when I try to figure it out. Is it working hard to achieve your dreams, or enjoying the small things in life, or fulfilling your desires, or sitting back and see the world go by...I know its a potpourri, but how does one balance it or do we at all try to do so?

At some places, like Bangkok and Dubai I found it to be an absolute pleasure to get sucked into consumeristic behaviour. Yet, places like McLeodganj, Andamans, Pondicherry, and Kanyakumari made me realise how futile all this is. Running all the time to fulfill your desires without stopping once to enjoy what we already have and soaking in the simple pleasures.

Sometimes, the whole office-home chakravyuh entangles us so much that we don't give enough time other things---family, friends, hobbies...

Is it because we don't differentiate between our 'needs' from our 'wants'? Or is it so that we are from our core 'unsatisfied' with what we have and always look for better things and thus, stop enjoying the life itself?

But then someone's need can be another's want...where does this vicious cycle stop? Within us or outside of us? May be we all need to ponder about it, after all don't we all want to end our lives on a happy and a satisfied note?

Dubai--sand,sea and skyscrapers

A month ago, Ma, Baba and I visited jethumoni's home for the last more than 30yrs, Dubai. Of course, it was exciting to visit him--but my main attraction point was meeting my niece--adorable,charming and lovely!

Dubai can be described in one word-- 'ambitious'. The amount it has developed (I'm referring to the stereotypical notion of the term) is unfathomable. It is a disciplined country where policing and surveillance is remote-controlled. I saw Indians not spitting, not littering and behaving themselves and wondered why can't they be like this in their own country?

Tall buildings, state-of-the-art technology, enviable cars, clean and wide roads, huge malls that will take you a week to cover and shopping will blow your mind. The USP of the city lies in the buildings, each different from the other-- embracing varied cultural and architectural influences. Many would feel, wish India was like this--ummm...I differ from this, may be because I simply love the chaos!

However, the masterpiece of the city is the Burj-Khalifa--a man made masterpiece. The experience of going on top of the highest building in the world (around 160 floors) and reaching 124the floor in 40seconds is inexplicable. It is nothing short of a miracle as this building was made in just 10yrs!

Life in Dubai, I'm guessing like any other 'developed' nation is devoid of friendly neighbours, cultural activities, options to enhance social interactions and it is something I felt the most when I saw my niece playing all by herself at home and I felt sad for her! But may be I am wrong...I do not know.

So what attracts you then?--the shopping, hell yes! sad for your pockets but this is an ideal place to be addicted to 'stuff' and get sucked into the consumeristic frame of mind--ideal situation for capitalism to flourish. Yes, the carefully crafted city appeals you to no end but what really impressed me most was the dedication, discipline and ambition of the Monarch to make this city the best in the given capacities without looking at personal gains! Something that we need to learn!

Women and War

Yesterday, I saw a puppet theatre on Ram (not Rama). It got me thinking on two points---the notion of valour and portrayal of women. Now, don't get into the 'sigh! here it goes again' mode...

So let me start with the first one--- valour. Now, we know a bit about the Mahabharat and Ramayan (I choose not to suffix the two with an 'a'-- since I do not like the colonised English when it comes to Indian proper nouns) and have witnessed that the display of valour and bravery has mainly been through two things---war and women! 'How?' you might ask. The Pandavs fought Kauravs and won, so ofcourse they are hereos and Draupati being disrobed in front of everyone was the symbol of Kauravs' pride, Bhishm's inaction and Pandav's inability to protect their woman from injustice. Similarly, in Ramayan, Ram's victory over Ravan was a sign of his valiance and his command to Sita to go through the 'Agni Pariksha' is still upheld as a mark of justice.

Now, here my problem begins, if winning a war is the mark of heroism, then where does Gandhian philosophy of non-violence fit in, considering our heritage and history is full of bloodshed? Also, in the modern times, the defeat of Germany or rather Hitler is seen as a victory of democracy, well for me, it was the only way to save capitalism. I'm not supporting Hitler here, but the fact, that USA should not be seen as a hero here.

Secondly, why does questioning woman's honour and self-respect always a label of chivalry or justice? Also, is it necessary that the one who wins the war is the hero while other, a villain? Was Ravan really wrong in abducting Sita, since Laxman cut his sister's nose? As far as we know, Ravan never misbehaved with her. So was he really a villain? Was he not more talented, knowledgeable and admirable than Ram?

I also despise how women are portrayed in such mythologies. If Sita had to prove her purity, then why not Ram? Was he also not away from her? As a friend pointed out to me last evening post the show (Amitesh, this is for you), Sita managed to bring up her sons on her own and decided to renounce worldly life as an act of defiance and protest. But we see this only as an act of sacrifice...

So what am I blabbering for so long...simply that non-violence is only mentioned when our 'heroes' saw it convenient and war cropped up only when they knew that they could win it. Also, characters like Draupati and Sita do not really portray subservient, docile and timid characteristics of a woman. Their acts said much more, but we see it as a weakness rather than their strength.

War does not portray the 'good' against the 'bad', it only reflects its need to show who is more powerful. I think its also about time for women to speak up rather than silently act, as perceptions might distort their actions...this world can only hear the ones who are the loudest! so hell be one!